As a parent we can learn a lot

I learned something this morning my soon to be 17 year old is not a little girl any more, She has been growing up before my eyes. She can make decisions on what she wants to do after she weighs it all out. I have to say I am quite proud of her all the time. She most definitely has had her ups and downs. Her pains and her victories. But I will say they have been all hers, she has owned them and moved on.

This child has always been into some type of sport dance, track, softball cheer, as a mom can I say I have pushed her yes, pushed her to be the best that she can be. Never can I compare her to any one else as there is always some one faster, stronger and better then her.  But to be her personal best is what I can do.If that isn't enough then she has to have the drive. I can never compare her to any one else because she isn't any one else. But I can push, drive and supply her with the tools she will need to achieve her personal goal.

I think she has realized a few things in the past couple of years. She has to want to do something, It's okay to fail, but never give up. She is a lot stronger then I or she gives her self credit for. But the one thing she knows is I will guide her, tell her when she is wrong praise her when it is needed but most of all I am always there I will always have her back.

I want my children to do what ever they want, I want my children to be successful in their own right, I don't ever want them to be able to do something I may say or do. There dad and I didn't grow up in the small town we live in now and sports here are so political. But my children play they have yearned their spots because they have the drive and heart to want to be there. I have tried to instill that in them. I don't ever want it said they only play because they are so and so kid, or they know so and so. From my older child to my younger child they have always earned their playing time because they do what it takes to play.

This soon to be 17 year old is no different. At 7 she took to dance along with rec softball, Oh how she loved to dance, she picked up the steps quick and you could tell she loved it. So she danced and she dance on a competitive team, they were all good, was she the best no was she good yes, but she wanted more, so she went to a ballet school too, But she felt she didn't fit in, didn't have the body type she said, But the truth is they intimidated her. They were that good. and she was just starting out in Ballet and felt she couldn't catch up. So she stuck with what she knew she was good at just to dance. When she was 11 or 12 don't remember she wanted to  try out for America's got talent, She wanted to dance, I know she knew it was a long shot but she wanted to try, So she danced and she practiced and she danced and practiced, We then drove to Chicago, Yes I drove to Chicago at 3 in the morning to get there for the call. I never really realized the long day we were in for. And the longer we waited the more she second guessed her self. Then she wanted to go home and not dance, then she would be close to tears, I let her talk, I tried to calm her told I would do what ever she wanted. At 6:00 pm we moved to the area for the actual audition, Then they called her name, She went in that room and danced her heart out, Was she good enough to get called back, No but she did something she wanted to do and she was good.

Then there was track, Who knew my little bodied middle school student, could run the hurdles and the 100 yard dash and be ranked in the middle school conference, she was ranked 5 for hurdles one year and 3 the next. She drove herself to excel but realized that there were 2 others that were better. But they may have been better in time but not in heart, Her first bid to go to state coming down off a hurdle she got tangled in the hurdle, and caught her leg with her cleat, did she lay there and bleed and cry nope she got up caught up with the pack and finished 4th out of 8. Where at the finish line she then collapsed but she finished. Lost her bid for state but gained respect in her self, I always told her things happen pick your self up and finish. We watch it in the Olympics all the time. They fall, get hurt and get back up and finish.

She has grown so much as a person and an athlete, She will continue to grow but she has to decide what is it that she wants out of life. She was going to try out to day for one of the lead roles in the play at School. She had been working on it, trying to perfect her Italian accent, Then last night she went to a catching class and I explained make sure you tell the teacher in charge that she can not be there on Thursday's and for the first time in a long time she said I will mom  no excuses. Then as we were home she was still preparing for the try out which is today and with confidence and determination she turned to me and said Mom, I think I am not going to try out, I have so many other things I need to do, I want to go to the gym and retrain my muscle and gain my speed back, I want to work on my catching, I just think I wont have time to do everything right.


I think at this point in her life she knows what she wants and she is figuring out how she is going to get it on her own,

My mission has been accomplished

then she posted this to me

Been way to long my old friend

I have blogged for years, I can't believe I have let this blog go for over a year.  I find this to be a place I can let my self go. Let it out confront my inner demons. I have blogged about so much. last being my daughters ordeal. But I never finished that blog. It wasn't helping me move on. It was bringing those demons here every day. I wanted her to grow and heal and I wasn't helping her. So I stopped blogging, the downfall to stopping is I had no outlet to vent and to be honest I need that outlet.  I find if I don't have an avenue to let it out, I get very how do I want to put it inward.

Take my job I have been in the business of Property Management for as long as I have been married. 30 years. With the current company for going on 17 years. So my children have always been in daycare or as they got over latch key kids, With the current company I have been able to make class parties, field trips, every thing that has been school related so I have never missed out on that. But I have never been the mother who was home when they got off the school bus, had snacks ready or dinner ready at 5. Do I think my children minded, No not at all, It help pave the way for who they have become and becoming. Back to my job, If I could quit and stay home now I would, the residents are driving me to the edge, Is it to hard to put your dog on a leash? I am sorry you have aches and pains, but we all do. You didn't like my children helping with Thanksgiving, well that is okay after 16 years you can do it your self. Oh you quit your job because your rent went up. oh you know your boyfriend can not live here. That he is banned for drug selling. Always the same stuff every day. Day in and day out. And the paperwork is never ending, when I was interviewing I would hold up a piece of paper and say see this piece it will now generate 25 or more sheets before we even move some one in. Enough of the job it's depressing.

My kids are my heartbeat, I could never be more prouder of everyone of them. The oldest is a practicing attorney, she worked so hard to get there. It has sunk in but not something I through around, I am so proud of her and she knows it. She has succeed in one of her goals in life. She has several others and I know her and she will try her hardest to get there. She knows what she wants and has set her site on those things.

To be Continued >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now the hard part starts

This all started in April, I found out in June and now we are at the end of August. Doesn't seem like a long time but when you watch your daughter coming apart at the seams, it kills you more and more each day. She hides in her her room, doesn't want to go any where, So School is starting soon and what should be a very happy time in her life as she enters her final four years of school as a freshman, she is dreading it. she is so afraid some one will find out and they will all talk about her, and she is so afraid she is in a dark hole and she sees no way out. She goes and talks once a week to the counselor, I think it is helping but she gets really moody when she come out.

I decide she needs to have some fun, so I take her to the Mississippi fair to see the concerts, Joe Nichols, Black Shelton, Darruis Ruker, and Miranda Lambert, I can say she had a good time, as long as she was attached to my hip. She thought she saw them and panic mode went into effect. It was like she was three years old again and afraid she would get lost in a crowd. I know this may sound cruel but i made her walk around the fair with me, to see what was going on and to see that nothing was going to get her.

Four nights of this and four nights the same thing.  Panic and scared little girl, that is what they left me and there isn't any thing i can do to help her. We still are so far apart her and I but I know sooner or later we may heal that gap she knows I am here and I would and will go to the ends of the earth for her. I know she didn't do anything wrong and I wasn't going to allow any one to tell her other wise.

No I had not heard from the prosecutor in about a month, and to tell you the truth I am getting a little worried now. We can't go forward and she can't heal right if nothing is happening. So I take a chance and I call, I have to leave a message. By the end of the day i figured I won't hear from him, But he calls and tells me that they arrested the other brother and he is charged with 2 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, but he to will be tried as a juvenile. And we have a pre trail hearing in a week.

I go home not sure about this new, and the fact that other then the first interview no one has talked to my daughter, no one can answer questions on illicit photos of her, no one can tell me anything. So some may see this as progress but i see this as a stone wall and dog and pony show.

These boys are still friending 14-16 year old girls on Facebook and several are my daughters friends,

Now this is where the making of a strong young woman comes into play, all along we talked about court and if she wanted to go, or if she just wanted to be told what happens. This 14 year old child decided that to a point she wasn't going to run, she would accompany me to the first of what would be many court dates.

Next to come the first pre trial hearing

One arrested now to work on the other

So they arrested one of them, but not the other, I called the prosecutors office to find out that we have been assigned a new one, So I call him and I am told that he wants to review the case, so I decide I will give him a couple of weeks and call back. Meanwhile the two of them are acting on face book like nothing is happening and they are not in any kind of trouble,  Trying to hook up with more under age girls on face book. Funny thing is now they are both 18 and no longer children but they can not seem to go after girls their own age. It is then and there I decide that no they will not get away with it as long as I have fight in me I will fight for my child. So three weeks go by and i call him again, he has no news for me now he wants to review everything again. But he just doesn't see anything he can do to the other brother. Now he also tells me he will contact me if and when there are any changes, I again stress to him that I will be at all the court dates and I want them punished. 


So back to the computer I go I know have a handle on what the one brother did, and I find the statue and the law he broke, Now if I could find it what couldn't he. So since he didn't want me to call him, I put in writing everything I found and send him and his supervisor a copy. They needed to know how I felt and that I wasn't backing down and they needed to do their job and get justice for my daughter.  




here is the statue that yes the second brother was arrested on. So I think he finally figured out u was not some stupid mom who didn't know anything. I read and educated myself on every form of abuse.


Sexual Exploitation of a Child
720 ILCS 5/11-9.1
(a) Any person commits sexual exploitation of a child if in the presence of a child and with intent or knowledge that a child would view his or her acts, that person:
(1) engages in a sexual act; or
(2) exposes his or her sex organs, anus or breast for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification of such person or the child.
(b) Definitions. As used in this Section:
"Sexual act" means masturbation, sexual conduct or sexual penetration as defined in Section 12-12* of this Code.
"Child" means a person under 17 years of age.
(c) Sentence.
(1) Sexual exploitation of a child is a Class A misdemeanor. A second or subsequent violation of this Section is a Class 4 felony.
* See 720 ILCS 5/12-12.


So second brother has now been arrested and charged with two counts of Sexual Exploitation of a minor, Finally I think we are making head way.

I couldn't be further from the truth

The Charges

Criminal Sexual Assault
720 ILCS 5/12-13
(a) The accused commits criminal sexual assault if he or she:
(1) commits an act of sexual penetration by the use of force or threat of force; or
(2) commits an act of sexual penetration and the accused knew that the victim was unable to understand the nature of the act or was unable to give knowing consent; or
(3) commits an act of sexual penetration with a victim who was under 18 years of age when the act was committed and the accused was a family member; or
(4) commits an act of sexual penetration with a victim who was at least 13 years of age but under 18 years of age when the act was committed and the accused was 17 years of age or over and held a position of trust, authority or supervision in relation to the victim.
(b) Sentence.
(1) Criminal sexual assault is a Class 1 felony.
(2) A person who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault, or who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted under the laws of this State or any other state of an offense that is substantially equivalent to the offense of criminal sexual assault, commits a Class X felony for which the person shall be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not less than 30 years and not more than 60 years. The commission of the second or subsequent offense is required to have been after the initial conviction for this paragraph (2) to apply.
(3) A person who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted of the offense of aggravated criminal sexual assault or the offense of predatory criminal sexual assault of a child, or who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted under the laws of this State or any other state of an offense that is substantially equivalent to the offense of aggravated criminal sexual assault or the offense of criminal predatory sexual assault shall be sentenced to a term of natural life imprisonment. The commission of the second or subsequent offense is required to have been after the initial conviction for this paragraph (3) to apply.
(4) A second or subsequent conviction for a violation of paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) or under any similar statute of this State or any other state for any offense involving criminal sexual assault that is substantially equivalent to or more serious than the sexual assault prohibited under paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) is a Class X felony.
(5) When a person has any such prior conviction, the information or indictment charging that person shall state such prior conviction so as to give notice of the State's intention to treat the charge as a Class X felony. The fact of such prior conviction is not an element of the offense and may not be disclosed to the jury during trial unless otherwise permitted by issues properly raised during such trial.

The arrest

So after the call with the States Attorney, I was not feeling very confident, and she wasn't getting any better.So I decided it was time to call for a counselor maybe if she wouldn't talk to me she would talk to some one else.  I called a place recommended by the place we went for the interview. And I must say for the next 9 months months she had the most wonderful of counselor where she would go to talk to her every week. This person was understanding and was the most help though out this ordeal.

I am still extremely worried about her mental health as I have watched her decline and withdraw and just not be her self. This weighs so heavy on my mind that I can not show any sign of weakness as I have to carry her and I through this. At times I just don't know how I am going to do this, I feel myself going into a big black hole being swallowed up.

By the end of July the detective calls me and say's they are going to proceed with one of the boys and are going to charge him with two counts of sexual abuse of a minor, as a juvenile. He is going to charged with a class three mistermeaner. Which if convicted carries register of a sex offender, jail time and a lot of other stipulations.

When I ask about the other one there is no answer given. He committed a crime against her as the other one did. But I am told they are unsure what they can arrest him for as his crime is not the same as his brother. I am not happy with this and i have to say I want more so I decide I will take on the justice system myself and start to research both these issues and see what I came up with. I want them all to know I am very serious in getting justice and not allowing them to get away with this and will gather every shred of evidence I can find,  

We are now one down and one to go but it isn't as easy as it sounds. I have my work cut out for my as the prosecutors office here in Rock Island county isn't the best, point in case the last prosecutor is sitting in jail convicted of taking liberties with a minor in a case of sexual abuse against a teacher

States Attorney

So I have a daughter who hides in her room, One that I can not talk to and who will not talk to me. And the Police and the States attorney isn't doing anything. Coping with this is getting harder and harder and I have a child going deeper in herself.

I am thinking I have to start doing something or all will be lost and I will lose her forever.

So she is scheduled for a doctors yearly appointment and I tell her that I will take her after that to Muscatine to see her friend and she can hang out and have a fun day and we will leave her troubles behind. We get done with the doctor and are driving on highway 61 she has the GPS looking for a place for lunch, and we are singing to the radio having a good time and we are getting to right outside muscatine when out of the corner of my eye I see a pick up truck run a stop sign and just knew he was going to hit us. Hit us he did, I tried to swerve to miss him and doing so he hit the side and sent my car airborne where we then landed in a ditch.

Where even with a seat belt she hit the windshield


  

An other panic attack happen and a second trip to the hospital in less then 7 day's. It appears she can not cut a break. Well we never had our day never met her friend and now with out a car.

Now we have to scramble to find a rental as she had a softball tournament that same weekend out of town.My sweet little girl has yet to smile that beautiful smile in weeks now. She won't sleep in her room, she won't eat and she won't see her friends. I am know I am loosing her, This is the fire under my desire to bring those two to court. I can't bear to see what happened to her destroy my child. Maybe any one else may have let it go and chalk it up to growing pains, But I couldn't do that. I saw what they were doing to her in her mind. 

Well I am a persistent person it is in my nature. I could use a lot of savings here, that would describe my drive. But the one word would be hatred from them. I spent hours tracking them on Facebook and every other social network, I would call parents of the young girls I knew and warn them about these two. Trying so hard to keep her out of it and that was the hard part. 

Finally a call from the States Attorney and her and I went round and round she stated that there just wasn't enough to do anything and that she felt not that the evidence showed or that they confessed to doing the things they did to her, she felt it was consensual. I could feel the hair on the back of my next rise and I said to her I think you need to rethink that. I asked her what the age of consent in Illinois was as I knew I have been researching since I found out, and asked her 16 right ( which i knew was wrong ) and she stated no it's 17 I then said well I said then my 14 year old daughter could not have given her consent. I also told her the statue reads any penetration is a crime and it doesn't specify it has to be his dick. Her next words were I will get back with you.     

Next the arrest and my headaches just begin. 

The not knowing everything

In the day's that I waited for the detective to call was about the hardest thing in the world. But I had also turned into a Nazi. This was not a good thing. But I didn't want to ask any questions till the police interviewed her, I didn't want her tainted. He finally called and told me he needed to set up an interview with the advocacy program  and the states attorney for her to be interviewed. So I waited, I watched as I waited my fun loving daughter go deeper into herself, and we both walked on eggshells. I wanted to know but I knew it would be best to wait. He called me one day and wanted to know where we were as he had scheduled a meeting to take place, Just one problem he forgot to inform me of the time and place. I could tell from this that this was not going to be an easy battle and one that I would have to fight tooth and nail.

But in reality I still was in the complete unknown about everything. I still was in a state of confusion on my feelings, and as a mom I watched that she was hurting and I didn't know what to do about it all. I wanted to cuddle her and have her tell me everything, but that part wouldn't happen as she would tell me nothing.


It is now 1 week into this and we are at a Softball game, something she breathes for and how and why I don't know but she got nailed with a ball as she came home and then she went into a seemed to have what looked like an epileptic seizure. She shook and she wasn't there. It was so bad that they took her away in an ambulance and at the hospital she had the shakes still that they did a cat scan. But this was the start of panic attacks as a result of what ever happened to her.

In that meeting they they states attorney and the detective made me promises, assurances and other things. They made statements that they were sure that this had happened before just never reported, they knew what they were doing, they would stop them, they would get warrants for their computers and phone records. That yes they had both violated her in different ways, But they would have to review her tape to see if there was enough to arrest them as Adults or if it would be juveniles. This was the first round of lies and broken statements on behalf of the state of Illinois.

The detective interview the offenders and called me to tell me that now he felt that is all may have been a misunderstanding and the two of them were in a competition for my daughters affection. I stated I didn't care what he thought or the fact they had never been in trouble before they had committed a crime and I wasn't going to back down. They both needed to understand that they were grown men at 18 who didn't need to have relationships with immature 14 year old girls to try and get them to be sexual active to satisfy there own needs. They took advantage of her and they need to be arrested for their crime. This would not be the first such conversation I would have with the state nor would it be the last.

Next my conversation with the States attorney that leads to the arrest of one of them

The wrong things in the mind

So after she left her computer on the table for me to look through. I had so many things going through my mind, and I can tell you none of it was good. With out knowing the truth and only having what was in front of me, I did not know which way to think. Horrible things went through my mind about those two, and sad to say horrible things went through my mind about my daughter. I couldn't shake the images of what I had read, they left a vivid picture in my mind. I didn't know if I should be mad, hurt,or sad with this information. I know I called her at her friends house and I wasn't every nice in fact I was nasty and mean. I was not understanding or supportive I was at first placing the blame on her.

I couldn't get a handle on any of it. I just knew I wanted to kill those two at that moment. I didn't know where to turn, but I knew I needed to speak with a law enforcement officer. So I waited for my son to get off work and then he and I drove to the Illinois state police, but after speaking to the officer on duty I would have to wait till in the morning. I stewed on this information all night, re read the pages gasping at what I was looking at. Not sleeping just couldn't understand why and what and it made me sick.

I tried to call the State police detectives and no one answered the phone, so I called a friend with the County police and he had a sheriff come out and take a report. This officer really couldn't tell me anything and was there just to take the report. I gave him copies of everything, He told me an officer ( detective) would be in contact after he filed the report. When he left I knew I would have to go get her from her friends house and we would have to talk about it all. But it didn't turn out that way for a few days she wouldn't talk and I couldn't talk to her with out saying things, Never trying at this time to understand her or what happen. Not listening to her.

when part of the truth comes out

When you try to be the best mom you can, and you want to honor your child's judgement it doesn't always work, because your heart over takes your brain. The morning after I threw that kid and I use the term kid laughing as at 17 almost 18 your not a kid. I took my daughters phone and locked her out of Facebook. I needed time to digest what had happened the night before, Besides reading her phone he had left messages to her talking about her fine body and how he wanted to bang her, Not exactly what I wanted to read.  I spoke with someone and they advised me to send him a note saying any contact and I would have him arrested. which we did, But I also blew it as a mom, I said things too her because I was angry and those words will for ever haunt me. Because what I had thought was the end of the story was only going to be the beginning. I wouldn't find out the rest for months and months but I would find out enough to do as i had promised and file a police report.


A few day's later I had decided that I would allow her to go visit her friend and spend the night. But I had noticed that she was on her lap top in the kitchen more and more and not for very long. On this night she  left her lap top on the table when she went to her friends. I have never snooped in my child's phones, computers or anything else I truly believed in privacy. Well this night all that went out the window. I opened her computer and  the first thing I did was look at her Facebook chats. I copy and pasted both these boy's conversations with my child, then I went to her Skype account. where what I read my my physically ill. I could not believe what I was reading. I now know this was her way to tell me.

Now you remember the first boy the one that I thought was only through text message. Well what I read on Skype read like a porn movie. For those who don't know what Skype is it is a video chat program that all the kids are using. And a word of warning on Skype you can take pictures with out the other person knowing that you are doing that. The things I read in horror that this person had my daughter do in order for him to self gratify himself, including exposing his penis to my daughter. All the time telling her what he would so to her if he was there in person. Trying to get her to lie to us and get to where he can see her. I really couldn't read any more, so I then looked up the one on her Skype that had been to my house. It was in there that I learned what he had done to her in my house. How he was so pleased with himself.


He also made comments about what he would have done had he been alone with her, And couldn't wait till we could trust him so he could do other things to her, He bragged in these conversations how much he enjoyed himself. Their relationship would be like Romeo and Juliette. Even going as far as looking up if his seeing her was against the law. Telling her he didn't care he loved her she made him feel good. She was his baby girl and his princesses. He tried to alienate her in these conversations. He to on these Skype conversations would have her undress for him, he had her under his total control.

The police and the next few months. coming next

The unknowing

Now not knowing what had happen that Sunday night. I still didn't like the fact of his age and we had many a fight on this. I still didn't want her to be one of those girls who was head over heels in love and would try and see him in what I felt was an unsafe environment. I watched this child change before me eyes. We were going from a solid close relationship to I barely knew my child. I don't know if she was trying to hide from her feelings or what I would find out later be depression. I knew he had a control on her and I was trying to figure out a way to derail it with out her being to hurt. She didn't have a whole lot of experience with the opposite sex and this was both new to her and I.

Now it is hard during the summer months when I work, and I worry about the kids all day long. But I had thought we had an open enough relationship that I felt I didn't have to worry so much. I knew she was infatuated with this boy, he came across as charming, caring to her, and he too said those magic words. I love you, only his took the turn in their relationship would be like Romeo and Juliet and he would forever wait for her. These are the things a 14 year old girl wants to hear. One who feels she is not appealing to boys, and has no self esteem. I didn't know what to do, I sure didn't want her to see him but on the other hand i didn't want her to sneak around and get in trouble.

So when she asked if he could again come over on that weds. I figured this was my chance to get rid of him, as I would bring him to my house, and on the 30 minute car ride I would talk to him.

From the moment he sat in my car, I told him how i disapproved, how they would never date, how young he was and how he couldn't expect her to give up her freshman year and dances for him. I then explained to him if he touched her I would ruin his life, I would have him arrested and charged and make sure that he would be known as a pedophile. I told him he would never date my daughter, they would never be alone. Could he really live with him self leading her on, keeping her form doing things in High school that normal 14 year old girls, In the name of love that I was positive didn't exist.

Well we all ate dinner together, and I then went to them and had that conversation all over again with my daughter in the room. I thought I had gotten my message across to the two of them. They then went to my youngest sons room and played lets dance on the Wii. And started to watch a dance movie the three of them. My husband went back there as I had several times, but this time he came back to me and said he wanted that lil prick out of our house. He had caught him with his arms around her inappropriately. So I took him home. Little did I know that wasn't all that kid had done to my daughter. It was a repeat of the last time he was here. And again she had told him over and over again, she was to afraid to come to me, and this I didn't know why. All the way to his house I told them this friendship was done, no more, He was not coming over any more and she wasn't going to see him any where. What I found out a few days later would send our worlds on a tail spin that there could be no recovery from.

more to come later, the charges the arrest, the hearings and the final court date.   

As a mother not knowing what was happening with your child is a scary thing. At this point I was noticing a change in her, She was staying holed up in her room, she was sleeping a lot and she was not my Hannah that she had been her first 14 years of life. I thought it had to do with her being scared of High School and problems with her friends. I was so far from the truth. Trust me their are signs to abuse I just didn't pick up in them. 

Her and her friend were getting ready to go to their first teen dance, they were so excited she spent hours getting ready. I could see her excitement and I thought oh wow this is good. as a parent I knew they would met boys there and be asked to dance, Her dad and I raised her to be smart. It was happening my little girl was going up and I couldn't stop it.

Her friends parents came and picked her up and off she went. I worried as every mother does, but had instructed her that she should call me at the first sign of trouble. No phone calls came and when she came home it had appeared she had a great night.

In the morning we talked about her experience that night. She talked about several different young men she had danced with that night and how her friend and her danced. She told me about a boy who wouldn't leave her alone and called her all kinds of names because she wouldn't dance with him or be around him, She then was also talking about his twin brother, who she felt was sweet and nice and stayed by her to keep his brother away from her. Told her he wouldn't let his brother bother her the rest of the night.

I looked him up on face book and we had a long conversation her dad and I explaining to her that he had already graduated from high school and would soon be turning 18 and guys that age only want one thing from young girls like her. We explained there would be no dating that he was to old for her there would be no one on one time but we had no objection to her text him and them being friends like that. I could see that she wasn't happy and she fought with us on and on about this. But I wasn't to worried because were we live and the fact he didn't drive I didn't think I had to worry about anything happening. Well so I thought.

Now every one who knows me and my child know that we are very close and some can say we can feel and think what the other is thinking. I know that this attention that this person was giving her would help her with her self esteem issues. And I thought well she knows how we feel and if I really try to stop her she will do what every normal child will do and find a away to see him and then I couldn't control the issue.

So my husband and I decided that we would allow this young man to come over to the house and we would evaluate the situation. Thinking being in our house it would be a controlled environment and that the two of them would never be left alone.

So on Sunday I gave in to her and allowed him to come for dinner and to size him up per say. My oldest son went to pick him up and we all had dinner together, He appeared to know what to say and how to say it. Then all of us excluding my husband sat down to play a game, that would be my oldest and youngest son, my daughter and I and him. I then allowed them after that to go watch a movie with my sons, going in there several times to check on them. My older son left them and they were still in the company of my youngest when I am told that this boy touched her inappropriately and took her hand and had her touching him. While seeral times she told him no and to stop, him not listening and doing as he wanted. Doing this while my son was in the room with them. Now I didn't find out about this for awhile and learned she was scared to tell me and confused.



This was the first time,

still to come, the last time we saw him, police, court and end of the story if there is one

When life gets in the way: It's been a long year

It's been a long time since I blogged. I used to feel it was good to have a place to vent. I place where I could put my thoughts down and feel better. Then it stopped. Well so much has happened in the past year and this is the only way I can get how I feel out of my system. So here goes this is my vent,

It started last year before the end of the school year my Hannah all excited about ending her 8th  grade year. Going into High School, becoming a cheerleader. Getting to go places with friends and do things just beginning to grow. But yet still a child, what I am going to type now some may think it was nothing but in reality it destroyed this child and it took a year to bring her back.

She got on Facebook one day and had a friend request from an older boy, she didn't know this boy and wanted to know how he knew her. He stated that he saw on her friends you might now, and that he thought her to be beautiful. They exchanged numbers and text-ed for a while. He then started to ask her for inappropriate pictures which she declined, he asked and asked and each time she said no. He always would tell her that he loved her and wanted her, this soon to be 18 year old boy. She stopped texting him, I wish at that point she would have come to me but she felt she had handled it. It was a couple months after that he started contacting her again, telling her he had changed, it was wrong of him to ask those things and he really wanted a relationship with her. These text messages went on for awhile, and made her feel like she was popular and this older boy really liked her. What happens next is a lesson every one should learn and teach their children both boys and girls that there is a difference between love and sex, or sexting,

There is a program out there that most kids have called Skype, while there is nothing wrong with this program deviants like this man, because he is a man at 18. This program can take pictures with out the other person knowing and that in it's self is dangerous, because once it's out there it is out there. Although the police never did get a warrant and searched his computer or his brothers I may never know if during what he had her do next there were pictures taken. This person in the name of love had this child undress for him and do things so that he could have sexual gratification of himself. She knew that it was not right but he told her how much he loved her and how she was his princess and the only one for him. He said all the right things for her to believe him. He wrote her poems

this is one \
It's amazing how one person can change your life.
how a smile from you can erase everything bad
how life seems less scary when you're holding my hand
It's Phenomenal
how fate brings two strangers together
how i survived before i knew you
how when ever i am with you it's like a great new adventure
it's beautiful
how love can be so unconditional
how learning about you is like reading my favorite story
how loving you is so easy
and i am so thankful
that am able to know this amazing,phenomenal beautiful person and because I love you.

He had all the right words to get her to do these things, But she after a few days saw through all this.and to get him to stop and her not wanting to do that stuff because she knew it was wrong she lied to him told him I took her video camera. He was charming said the right things to get what he wanted from a very impressionable, naive little girl. Still she felt she had handled it not realizing what he had been doing to her was a crime. I wouldn't find this story out till the next chapter.


He disappeared for awhile then out of the blue invited himself to meet her at the mall with her friend who had a crush on his little brother. She knew she shouldn't have gone but her and her friend were going to buy clothes for a teen dance that coming weekend. He and his brother met up with them when her friends mom went to get her hair cut, they walked around for a bit then decided to play hide go seek in JCPenney. Her friends little brother and his were partners and her friend and her were partners and he was suppose to find them. Some how she got separated from her friend and he found her alone. He moved her to a corner and began to kiss her and fondle her butt. She kept telling him no and he kept forcing himself on her. Just when things were getting scary for her an employee came upon them and told them to leave, Just then she spotted her friend and they left the story, he was enjoying himself and telling her man I didn't even get to the good part.

He wanted her to go to this teen dance with him and she kept telling him no to leave her alone.

This is the end of chapter one of this story, there will be three more

what happens next with his twin brother, the court proceedings and the end result. 

Theses are her words which i will share now then continue the story
   http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=10c4e7635aaddc990b73c60&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

So now we have

to postpone the next cruise but I think this will work out so much better, We are now looking at the summer of 2013, with that is our 30th wedding anniversary, and I already told the hubby we will be renewing our vows. Gives every one more time to plan and then more time for us to celebrate.

We are now looking at the ship the new one the Breeze and goes where I think every one will be happy.

I do believe my balcony is calling.

The port of calls we want to go to

Grand TurkLa Romana, Dominican RepublicCuracaoAruba It will be two years in the making and I plan on making it everything and more

Weather I hate it

Last weekend I packed away all my fall and winter clothes and brought out my spring and summer. Well mostly summer and wouldn't you know it was down right freaking cold this morning and I had nothing to wear. I love to wear skirts all summer but it was too cool for this. Urggg oh well I at least had pants and a sweater.

I was thinking today I really hope I don't turn into the type person some of my residents are. All they know how to do is complain and trust me they know how to do it and do it well. I am in the middle of redecorating the common areas of the building this year. Last year we did the out side and all I heard was I hate the colour of the siding I hate the paint and to be honest it changed the whole out look of the property. So now we have moved to the inside and we are doing it in stages. First stage paint, again they hate the colour, we went with a dusty pink with a light yellow trim, and they are very striking together, Now mind you the building was white trimmed in orange from the 1960's. We did the community room and library in green with a pale tan accent walls. And all I have heard for two weeks is bitch moan and complain.

Community room with new decorations Flower picture in the community room on the tan wall picture I just bought with the table decorations , Now we have to replace the orange chairs. The put the new carpet and the hardwood floor looking tile floor. when it all comes together it will look wonderful and bring the building into this century and not making it so old looking, It looks warm and inviting and I just can't seem to please any one

Rain, Rain and more rain

So it's storming and it's storming. Thunder, lightning and we have had hail, I am so tired of rain, and nasty weather I want spring but spring didn't come and it's going to go straight into summer.

So school has let out, and already Diva is bored. I can not help it we live out of the way and their are no other children around here and you need a car to go any where. It's going to be a long summer . Good thing I work, or I might be missing kids.

So I sent carnival an e-mail to see what kind of break we would get if we booked nine rooms on a cruise, I still want to do the whole family thing, date wise it could be a nightmare but I am willing to try and figure it all out. I know with my whole family flying is out of the question, so I don't want to limit what port we go out of and try and make it easy for every one,. Florida has several ports so I am looking into all of those. Then there is where do we go, I love sea days and would love to have 3 but most cruises only have two, and then there is that song going on in my head

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go, Jamaica

Off the Florida Keys there's a place called Kokomo

I could always put all the destinations up and throw a dart.

I really hope this all works out and every one gets to go, it is not to often that we as a whole family and I mean whole family get to do something, A renewal would be nice as my sisters never got to share in the day when we got married. I know right now it is a dream but we will see what transpires here in the next couple of months and then we can all make a decision on what we all want to do.

Now met my new babies, these puppies were born 2-24-2011 and yes they are brothers I helped their mom, my bichion deliver them and their sister

Gizmo my werewolf puppie he has hair growing every where on top of hair, His name fits him so perfect. As he is as bad as the Gremlins in the movie

This lovable tun of fun is as he is called Reed such a sweet and docile baby he is named after the adorable genius he was named after on Criminal minds

My baby boys

Now there was a 3rd baby and she is a girl and her name is Bella and she has a furever home with friends of ours. I couldn't make up my mind on which one of the boys to keep so my hubby told me to just keep them both. So now we have dexter, prada, gizmo and reed and lets not forget green

I think I found the dress

I believe I found the perfect dress and I think I will be buying it so that I have it. It's so perfect for a renewal service any where. Park. Lake, cruise any where but a church and I already had a church wedding. This is it and it isn't expensive I love it.

Diva graduated today

so grown up

why do they grow up so fast ???

So much has gone on

Boy it's been awhile since I have blog. I never thought I would quit. I will try to catch every one up. Life here has not changed very much,

Law student is still in Indy she is doing an intern ship for the prosecutors office, right now it is a non paying job but you have to start some where and we are very proud of her. Found out they placed her in the domestic violence division. She will research and be the gopher but she also will be going to court with the attorney so she is excited about that. So with that being said she will be in Indy for the summer and we will not get to see her much. Although she was just here for two weeks and it was great to have her here. I will see her in July when I go to Indy for my company seminar. On the bigger news, Law student has a steady fella, She say's its love and its so great to see her happy.

Business student has come home. It is always good when he comes home. I don't know I just like having my children home. I would assume he is doing well as he hasn't said anything other wise. I think he starts work again June 5th, He will again be working at the truck stop.

lilman ran track this year and was great to watch him run, he did the 100 dash, the 800 and then the 4x1 and the 4x2. He went to sectionals as a 6th grader and that was awesome. lilman is lilman, who grew 7 inches in less then a year and she has upped his meds. But on the down side he was the subject to bulling but I think we have that issue handled.

Diva oh Diva she quit dance for the season in March to run track and play ASA ball. She hasn't decided if she wants to continue with dance as her heart just isn't in it. I never thought that this day would come, There is still hope she will go back but it is completely up to her. Softball has been rough on her. I don't think this is the team for her, I could be wrong and i just sit back and watch as I don't want to make waves and get in the way of her playing. Her coach announced that she won't be back next year so I am unsure if there is even going to be a team. But we have several tournaments in the coming weeks so then she will have so much team time I only can hope she has playing time.

Divas bid for state fell short, she was third in the hurdles and you have to be 1st and 2nd to go to state, she was 5th in the 100 dash and her 4x1 fell flat. She informed me that she has chosen to run track in high school and not play ball. But I was so proud of both her and lilman.

Diva graduates 8th grade and is now on High school, and last week she tried out for the football cheerleading squad and made the team I never saw any one so happy as she was that night. So it is back to the football field for us.

So I am planning a cruise for summer of 2012. It will be to celebrate law students graduation from law school. Business students graduation from college and our 29-30 wedding anniversary.

Not sure where yet or what ship or what month even but I am planning.

So I decided to get ideas on renewal dresses here are three very different styles what do you think

#2

#3

So cruise planning the fun the horror the terror, at least this time I wont be going kicking and screaming

Closing a chapter for now

I don't know what next year will bring, but it's saddens me that we dancing Diva and I are closing a chapter in her life right now. Since she was 7 she has been my dancing diva. I was oh so proud of her the first time she took to the dance stage, She was what my Mom would call one with the stage. She was made for the stage and she so enjoyed it. It hasn't always been the easily of roads and we have hit many bumps, shared many problems and tears her and I. I can say with all my heart I am so proud of her for her commitment and dedication to something that she has a passion for. I have watched her grow, mature and make some hard choices when it comes to dance.

Not going to the studio will be hard for the next few months as she won't be in recital, So we have no new costumes, Her friends at the studio have changed and grown apart, this happens while growing up we have all went through it. I think she is teetering on broadening her options with what she wants to do. This year was a learning curve as she was there but not really there. While she has no aspirations to become a famous dancer she would love to still dance. With going to High school there are other things she may want to try her hand out and I just don't think there is a studio out there who will allow her to be a part time team member including where she has been for so very long. She say's she may want to cheer for the high school, she wants to still run track and then there is softball.

The commitment to any studio on time to dance is going to be difficult, I know I will support her in what ever she decides but I know I cried today when I watched her as I said to myself this could be the very last time I see her on the stage. This saddens me, they all grow up and move on but what then do I do to occupy my time when I have spent their whole lives doing for them, making sure they get to do what they want to do. It will leave a void in my life that can not be filled.

I felt this way when my business student had his last high school football game and I realized wait what do I do now on Friday nights. Football was a staple and I so enjoyed the rush of the game and watching 67 plow through people and make holes for the runner to carry the ball. That was a sad night indeed. Same when Law student said Mom I just don't want to do pageants any more but that was easy she was 7 and we had just moved. Her and I then got involved with dog showing and that occupied my time and hers till Diva and lilman came along,

My advice to all of you is have outside interests that don't involve your kids because one day you will like me and have nothing to do.

I will leave

you with this from today

still my high flying girl

What ever she choices to do I will stand behind her and support her

Wow it's been awhile

I cannot believe it's been a month since I've done any blogging and I have to say I miss it.

Not a whole lot going on here in the household, well there are a few things, Dancing diva is getting braces and is taking a break from dance. Track is coming up and I can not wait to see her hurdle. Softball is in full swing now and she is excited.

Lilman hasn't done much and I think we missed the deadline on spring soccer but he doesn't seem to be overly upset about that. Business student went to Panama City Florida with his college friends I think he had a good time. Law student has been very quiet since she moved into her own place, Just don't hear from her like I used to.

The inlaws seem to be on a new every two plan with house buying and they have bought another house. It seems as they get older there is not any pleasing them where they live, although the mom in law say's this is the last time they are moving, I have heard that before.

I have been busy redecorating one of my offices, this has been fun and I have enjoyed it. I also have been interviewing for a new maintenance man as my one is retiring, You know it's time as I have found so much that has been neglected it just makes me sick. Diva and lilman have spent the first two day's of their spring break picking up garbage on the property. Some people are just pigs. So in rare manager form sent them several letters in the past two day's. Lets hope that they heed the warning.

The huge news if you can call it news is the arrival of 3 puppies to our house and boy are they cute. They will be 4 weeks old here in a few day's so I will share some of these photo's with you all

reed

Gizmo

Bella

my new babies