I have never had a lot of so called friends, Yes I have people I know but not people I trust and would say Oh yes that is my friend, I always was on the tail end of bullies and that continued my whole life, Yes it still that way today. I have always tried to do for people the best I can with in my means. You want food I always have food, you want a shoulder to cry on I have that. You want clothes I can help. I continued this through my children's school day. I helped and made feel welcome all the kids who needed to feel important. I never expect anything in return. I am not trying to buy your friendship it is what defines me to the point I get taken advantage of but I don't see it most times till it's to late.
From High school on people used what I can do, what I was willing to do and used that till I could do no more. Then they disappeared out of my life. You would think I would have learned when that when that cycle continued to happen, but no I always try and find the good in people and my nature is truly one that wants to help. You would think at 60 years old I would not care if people walk away but it hurts like it hurt when I was 8. It happened again not to long ago where I met a person and we talked and talked, we were both going to a huge dog show I tried to help with clothes we planned meals together and what we were going to do that week. But once we got there we had one meal then once we got to the show site they acted like they didn't know me, being new to being back to showing I couldn't do anything for them as far as grooming or any knowledge to help them and I was dropped like a hot potato. I should have seen the signs as there were signs. We both imported dogs about the same time. Although I was having trouble registering mine and they knew it. So they posted Oh look our baby is now AKC registered . Who in this day and age does that. But I ignored. Am I bitter yes, did I change how I felt no I still tried to continue that friendship but soon learned it wasn't a friendship when you hide where your going even when asked. But you know what it's a free world go where you choose, I do.
I still invite people to eat, I still open up my motor home to people, I would still give you what ever I could if I had and could. But it comes a time where I have to understand my personality may not be for everyone, I am gruff, I act dumb, and I try to hard. those are my faults, I am to old to change and you know what I don't want to.
So as I continue to show my dogs, if you have met me and I seem to be different it's because I put the wall back up. I enjoy showing and that is all that matters. I survived to the age 60 with very few people that I would call friends and I can continue to do so. Oh don't get me wrong there are several people that I enjoy their company and will continue but the rest of the people I am not a door mat. I am no longer going to volunteer my help with items I have no need for. No one I find would do it for me so I will not go out of my way for people.
So now on a happier not, I know have my 2nd and 3rd champion after over 17 years. I hope to be on the way to 4th and 5th. Including my Tillie who has sat in the back seat for a year and now is well on her way well maybe to being finished. It depends on her personality the day of show.
My new Champion Romeo
Champion Hondo Needs 5 points for his Grand 
my tillie who won her first 4 point major, a feat people have thought including me couldn't be done
then there is Master Maverick who I expect grand things from 
Well I must finish loading my old motor home, It may not be the best to some people but it is our home away from home.
