Tuesday, May 29, 2012

As a mother not knowing what was happening with your child is a scary thing. At this point I was noticing a change in her, She was staying holed up in her room, she was sleeping a lot and she was not my Hannah that she had been her first 14 years of life. I thought it had to do with her being scared of High School and problems with her friends. I was so far from the truth. Trust me their are signs to abuse I just didn't pick up in them. 

Her and her friend were getting ready to go to their first teen dance, they were so excited she spent hours getting ready. I could see her excitement and I thought oh wow this is good. as a parent I knew they would met boys there and be asked to dance, Her dad and I raised her to be smart. It was happening my little girl was going up and I couldn't stop it.

Her friends parents came and picked her up and off she went. I worried as every mother does, but had instructed her that she should call me at the first sign of trouble. No phone calls came and when she came home it had appeared she had a great night.

In the morning we talked about her experience that night. She talked about several different young men she had danced with that night and how her friend and her danced. She told me about a boy who wouldn't leave her alone and called her all kinds of names because she wouldn't dance with him or be around him, She then was also talking about his twin brother, who she felt was sweet and nice and stayed by her to keep his brother away from her. Told her he wouldn't let his brother bother her the rest of the night.

I looked him up on face book and we had a long conversation her dad and I explaining to her that he had already graduated from high school and would soon be turning 18 and guys that age only want one thing from young girls like her. We explained there would be no dating that he was to old for her there would be no one on one time but we had no objection to her text him and them being friends like that. I could see that she wasn't happy and she fought with us on and on about this. But I wasn't to worried because were we live and the fact he didn't drive I didn't think I had to worry about anything happening. Well so I thought.

Now every one who knows me and my child know that we are very close and some can say we can feel and think what the other is thinking. I know that this attention that this person was giving her would help her with her self esteem issues. And I thought well she knows how we feel and if I really try to stop her she will do what every normal child will do and find a away to see him and then I couldn't control the issue.

So my husband and I decided that we would allow this young man to come over to the house and we would evaluate the situation. Thinking being in our house it would be a controlled environment and that the two of them would never be left alone.

So on Sunday I gave in to her and allowed him to come for dinner and to size him up per say. My oldest son went to pick him up and we all had dinner together, He appeared to know what to say and how to say it. Then all of us excluding my husband sat down to play a game, that would be my oldest and youngest son, my daughter and I and him. I then allowed them after that to go watch a movie with my sons, going in there several times to check on them. My older son left them and they were still in the company of my youngest when I am told that this boy touched her inappropriately and took her hand and had her touching him. While seeral times she told him no and to stop, him not listening and doing as he wanted. Doing this while my son was in the room with them. Now I didn't find out about this for awhile and learned she was scared to tell me and confused.

This was the first time,

still to come, the last time we saw him, police, court and end of the story if there is one

Monday, May 28, 2012

When life gets in the way: It's been a long year

It's been a long time since I blogged. I used to feel it was good to have a place to vent. I place where I could put my thoughts down and feel better. Then it stopped. Well so much has happened in the past year and this is the only way I can get how I feel out of my system. So here goes this is my vent,

It started last year before the end of the school year my Hannah all excited about ending her 8th  grade year. Going into High School, becoming a cheerleader. Getting to go places with friends and do things just beginning to grow. But yet still a child, what I am going to type now some may think it was nothing but in reality it destroyed this child and it took a year to bring her back.

She got on Facebook one day and had a friend request from an older boy, she didn't know this boy and wanted to know how he knew her. He stated that he saw on her friends you might now, and that he thought her to be beautiful. They exchanged numbers and text-ed for a while. He then started to ask her for inappropriate pictures which she declined, he asked and asked and each time she said no. He always would tell her that he loved her and wanted her, this soon to be 18 year old boy. She stopped texting him, I wish at that point she would have come to me but she felt she had handled it. It was a couple months after that he started contacting her again, telling her he had changed, it was wrong of him to ask those things and he really wanted a relationship with her. These text messages went on for awhile, and made her feel like she was popular and this older boy really liked her. What happens next is a lesson every one should learn and teach their children both boys and girls that there is a difference between love and sex, or sexting,

There is a program out there that most kids have called Skype, while there is nothing wrong with this program deviants like this man, because he is a man at 18. This program can take pictures with out the other person knowing and that in it's self is dangerous, because once it's out there it is out there. Although the police never did get a warrant and searched his computer or his brothers I may never know if during what he had her do next there were pictures taken. This person in the name of love had this child undress for him and do things so that he could have sexual gratification of himself. She knew that it was not right but he told her how much he loved her and how she was his princess and the only one for him. He said all the right things for her to believe him. He wrote her poems

this is one \
It's amazing how one person can change your life.
how a smile from you can erase everything bad
how life seems less scary when you're holding my hand
It's Phenomenal
how fate brings two strangers together
how i survived before i knew you
how when ever i am with you it's like a great new adventure
it's beautiful
how love can be so unconditional
how learning about you is like reading my favorite story
how loving you is so easy
and i am so thankful
that am able to know this amazing,phenomenal beautiful person and because I love you.

He had all the right words to get her to do these things, But she after a few days saw through all this.and to get him to stop and her not wanting to do that stuff because she knew it was wrong she lied to him told him I took her video camera. He was charming said the right things to get what he wanted from a very impressionable, naive little girl. Still she felt she had handled it not realizing what he had been doing to her was a crime. I wouldn't find this story out till the next chapter.

He disappeared for awhile then out of the blue invited himself to meet her at the mall with her friend who had a crush on his little brother. She knew she shouldn't have gone but her and her friend were going to buy clothes for a teen dance that coming weekend. He and his brother met up with them when her friends mom went to get her hair cut, they walked around for a bit then decided to play hide go seek in JCPenney. Her friends little brother and his were partners and her friend and her were partners and he was suppose to find them. Some how she got separated from her friend and he found her alone. He moved her to a corner and began to kiss her and fondle her butt. She kept telling him no and he kept forcing himself on her. Just when things were getting scary for her an employee came upon them and told them to leave, Just then she spotted her friend and they left the story, he was enjoying himself and telling her man I didn't even get to the good part.

He wanted her to go to this teen dance with him and she kept telling him no to leave her alone.

This is the end of chapter one of this story, there will be three more

what happens next with his twin brother, the court proceedings and the end result. 

Theses are her words which i will share now then continue the story