Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Now the hard part starts

This all started in April, I found out in June and now we are at the end of August. Doesn't seem like a long time but when you watch your daughter coming apart at the seams, it kills you more and more each day. She hides in her her room, doesn't want to go any where, So School is starting soon and what should be a very happy time in her life as she enters her final four years of school as a freshman, she is dreading it. she is so afraid some one will find out and they will all talk about her, and she is so afraid she is in a dark hole and she sees no way out. She goes and talks once a week to the counselor, I think it is helping but she gets really moody when she come out.

I decide she needs to have some fun, so I take her to the Mississippi fair to see the concerts, Joe Nichols, Black Shelton, Darruis Ruker, and Miranda Lambert, I can say she had a good time, as long as she was attached to my hip. She thought she saw them and panic mode went into effect. It was like she was three years old again and afraid she would get lost in a crowd. I know this may sound cruel but i made her walk around the fair with me, to see what was going on and to see that nothing was going to get her.

Four nights of this and four nights the same thing.  Panic and scared little girl, that is what they left me and there isn't any thing i can do to help her. We still are so far apart her and I but I know sooner or later we may heal that gap she knows I am here and I would and will go to the ends of the earth for her. I know she didn't do anything wrong and I wasn't going to allow any one to tell her other wise.

No I had not heard from the prosecutor in about a month, and to tell you the truth I am getting a little worried now. We can't go forward and she can't heal right if nothing is happening. So I take a chance and I call, I have to leave a message. By the end of the day i figured I won't hear from him, But he calls and tells me that they arrested the other brother and he is charged with 2 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, but he to will be tried as a juvenile. And we have a pre trail hearing in a week.

I go home not sure about this new, and the fact that other then the first interview no one has talked to my daughter, no one can answer questions on illicit photos of her, no one can tell me anything. So some may see this as progress but i see this as a stone wall and dog and pony show.

These boys are still friending 14-16 year old girls on Facebook and several are my daughters friends,

Now this is where the making of a strong young woman comes into play, all along we talked about court and if she wanted to go, or if she just wanted to be told what happens. This 14 year old child decided that to a point she wasn't going to run, she would accompany me to the first of what would be many court dates.

Next to come the first pre trial hearing

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

One arrested now to work on the other

So they arrested one of them, but not the other, I called the prosecutors office to find out that we have been assigned a new one, So I call him and I am told that he wants to review the case, so I decide I will give him a couple of weeks and call back. Meanwhile the two of them are acting on face book like nothing is happening and they are not in any kind of trouble,  Trying to hook up with more under age girls on face book. Funny thing is now they are both 18 and no longer children but they can not seem to go after girls their own age. It is then and there I decide that no they will not get away with it as long as I have fight in me I will fight for my child. So three weeks go by and i call him again, he has no news for me now he wants to review everything again. But he just doesn't see anything he can do to the other brother. Now he also tells me he will contact me if and when there are any changes, I again stress to him that I will be at all the court dates and I want them punished. 

So back to the computer I go I know have a handle on what the one brother did, and I find the statue and the law he broke, Now if I could find it what couldn't he. So since he didn't want me to call him, I put in writing everything I found and send him and his supervisor a copy. They needed to know how I felt and that I wasn't backing down and they needed to do their job and get justice for my daughter.  

here is the statue that yes the second brother was arrested on. So I think he finally figured out u was not some stupid mom who didn't know anything. I read and educated myself on every form of abuse.

Sexual Exploitation of a Child
720 ILCS 5/11-9.1
(a) Any person commits sexual exploitation of a child if in the presence of a child and with intent or knowledge that a child would view his or her acts, that person:
(1) engages in a sexual act; or
(2) exposes his or her sex organs, anus or breast for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification of such person or the child.
(b) Definitions. As used in this Section:
"Sexual act" means masturbation, sexual conduct or sexual penetration as defined in Section 12-12* of this Code.
"Child" means a person under 17 years of age.
(c) Sentence.
(1) Sexual exploitation of a child is a Class A misdemeanor. A second or subsequent violation of this Section is a Class 4 felony.
* See 720 ILCS 5/12-12.

So second brother has now been arrested and charged with two counts of Sexual Exploitation of a minor, Finally I think we are making head way.

I couldn't be further from the truth

The Charges

Criminal Sexual Assault
720 ILCS 5/12-13
(a) The accused commits criminal sexual assault if he or she:
(1) commits an act of sexual penetration by the use of force or threat of force; or
(2) commits an act of sexual penetration and the accused knew that the victim was unable to understand the nature of the act or was unable to give knowing consent; or
(3) commits an act of sexual penetration with a victim who was under 18 years of age when the act was committed and the accused was a family member; or
(4) commits an act of sexual penetration with a victim who was at least 13 years of age but under 18 years of age when the act was committed and the accused was 17 years of age or over and held a position of trust, authority or supervision in relation to the victim.
(b) Sentence.
(1) Criminal sexual assault is a Class 1 felony.
(2) A person who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault, or who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted under the laws of this State or any other state of an offense that is substantially equivalent to the offense of criminal sexual assault, commits a Class X felony for which the person shall be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not less than 30 years and not more than 60 years. The commission of the second or subsequent offense is required to have been after the initial conviction for this paragraph (2) to apply.
(3) A person who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted of the offense of aggravated criminal sexual assault or the offense of predatory criminal sexual assault of a child, or who is convicted of the offense of criminal sexual assault as defined in paragraph (a)(1) or (a)(2) after having previously been convicted under the laws of this State or any other state of an offense that is substantially equivalent to the offense of aggravated criminal sexual assault or the offense of criminal predatory sexual assault shall be sentenced to a term of natural life imprisonment. The commission of the second or subsequent offense is required to have been after the initial conviction for this paragraph (3) to apply.
(4) A second or subsequent conviction for a violation of paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) or under any similar statute of this State or any other state for any offense involving criminal sexual assault that is substantially equivalent to or more serious than the sexual assault prohibited under paragraph (a)(3) or (a)(4) is a Class X felony.
(5) When a person has any such prior conviction, the information or indictment charging that person shall state such prior conviction so as to give notice of the State's intention to treat the charge as a Class X felony. The fact of such prior conviction is not an element of the offense and may not be disclosed to the jury during trial unless otherwise permitted by issues properly raised during such trial.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The arrest

So after the call with the States Attorney, I was not feeling very confident, and she wasn't getting any better.So I decided it was time to call for a counselor maybe if she wouldn't talk to me she would talk to some one else.  I called a place recommended by the place we went for the interview. And I must say for the next 9 months months she had the most wonderful of counselor where she would go to talk to her every week. This person was understanding and was the most help though out this ordeal.

I am still extremely worried about her mental health as I have watched her decline and withdraw and just not be her self. This weighs so heavy on my mind that I can not show any sign of weakness as I have to carry her and I through this. At times I just don't know how I am going to do this, I feel myself going into a big black hole being swallowed up.

By the end of July the detective calls me and say's they are going to proceed with one of the boys and are going to charge him with two counts of sexual abuse of a minor, as a juvenile. He is going to charged with a class three mistermeaner. Which if convicted carries register of a sex offender, jail time and a lot of other stipulations.

When I ask about the other one there is no answer given. He committed a crime against her as the other one did. But I am told they are unsure what they can arrest him for as his crime is not the same as his brother. I am not happy with this and i have to say I want more so I decide I will take on the justice system myself and start to research both these issues and see what I came up with. I want them all to know I am very serious in getting justice and not allowing them to get away with this and will gather every shred of evidence I can find,  

We are now one down and one to go but it isn't as easy as it sounds. I have my work cut out for my as the prosecutors office here in Rock Island county isn't the best, point in case the last prosecutor is sitting in jail convicted of taking liberties with a minor in a case of sexual abuse against a teacher

Thursday, June 14, 2012

States Attorney

So I have a daughter who hides in her room, One that I can not talk to and who will not talk to me. And the Police and the States attorney isn't doing anything. Coping with this is getting harder and harder and I have a child going deeper in herself.

I am thinking I have to start doing something or all will be lost and I will lose her forever.

So she is scheduled for a doctors yearly appointment and I tell her that I will take her after that to Muscatine to see her friend and she can hang out and have a fun day and we will leave her troubles behind. We get done with the doctor and are driving on highway 61 she has the GPS looking for a place for lunch, and we are singing to the radio having a good time and we are getting to right outside muscatine when out of the corner of my eye I see a pick up truck run a stop sign and just knew he was going to hit us. Hit us he did, I tried to swerve to miss him and doing so he hit the side and sent my car airborne where we then landed in a ditch.

Where even with a seat belt she hit the windshield


An other panic attack happen and a second trip to the hospital in less then 7 day's. It appears she can not cut a break. Well we never had our day never met her friend and now with out a car.

Now we have to scramble to find a rental as she had a softball tournament that same weekend out of town.My sweet little girl has yet to smile that beautiful smile in weeks now. She won't sleep in her room, she won't eat and she won't see her friends. I am know I am loosing her, This is the fire under my desire to bring those two to court. I can't bear to see what happened to her destroy my child. Maybe any one else may have let it go and chalk it up to growing pains, But I couldn't do that. I saw what they were doing to her in her mind. 

Well I am a persistent person it is in my nature. I could use a lot of savings here, that would describe my drive. But the one word would be hatred from them. I spent hours tracking them on Facebook and every other social network, I would call parents of the young girls I knew and warn them about these two. Trying so hard to keep her out of it and that was the hard part. 

Finally a call from the States Attorney and her and I went round and round she stated that there just wasn't enough to do anything and that she felt not that the evidence showed or that they confessed to doing the things they did to her, she felt it was consensual. I could feel the hair on the back of my next rise and I said to her I think you need to rethink that. I asked her what the age of consent in Illinois was as I knew I have been researching since I found out, and asked her 16 right ( which i knew was wrong ) and she stated no it's 17 I then said well I said then my 14 year old daughter could not have given her consent. I also told her the statue reads any penetration is a crime and it doesn't specify it has to be his dick. Her next words were I will get back with you.     

Next the arrest and my headaches just begin. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

The not knowing everything

In the day's that I waited for the detective to call was about the hardest thing in the world. But I had also turned into a Nazi. This was not a good thing. But I didn't want to ask any questions till the police interviewed her, I didn't want her tainted. He finally called and told me he needed to set up an interview with the advocacy program  and the states attorney for her to be interviewed. So I waited, I watched as I waited my fun loving daughter go deeper into herself, and we both walked on eggshells. I wanted to know but I knew it would be best to wait. He called me one day and wanted to know where we were as he had scheduled a meeting to take place, Just one problem he forgot to inform me of the time and place. I could tell from this that this was not going to be an easy battle and one that I would have to fight tooth and nail.

But in reality I still was in the complete unknown about everything. I still was in a state of confusion on my feelings, and as a mom I watched that she was hurting and I didn't know what to do about it all. I wanted to cuddle her and have her tell me everything, but that part wouldn't happen as she would tell me nothing.

It is now 1 week into this and we are at a Softball game, something she breathes for and how and why I don't know but she got nailed with a ball as she came home and then she went into a seemed to have what looked like an epileptic seizure. She shook and she wasn't there. It was so bad that they took her away in an ambulance and at the hospital she had the shakes still that they did a cat scan. But this was the start of panic attacks as a result of what ever happened to her.

In that meeting they they states attorney and the detective made me promises, assurances and other things. They made statements that they were sure that this had happened before just never reported, they knew what they were doing, they would stop them, they would get warrants for their computers and phone records. That yes they had both violated her in different ways, But they would have to review her tape to see if there was enough to arrest them as Adults or if it would be juveniles. This was the first round of lies and broken statements on behalf of the state of Illinois.

The detective interview the offenders and called me to tell me that now he felt that is all may have been a misunderstanding and the two of them were in a competition for my daughters affection. I stated I didn't care what he thought or the fact they had never been in trouble before they had committed a crime and I wasn't going to back down. They both needed to understand that they were grown men at 18 who didn't need to have relationships with immature 14 year old girls to try and get them to be sexual active to satisfy there own needs. They took advantage of her and they need to be arrested for their crime. This would not be the first such conversation I would have with the state nor would it be the last.

Next my conversation with the States attorney that leads to the arrest of one of them

Friday, June 8, 2012

The wrong things in the mind

So after she left her computer on the table for me to look through. I had so many things going through my mind, and I can tell you none of it was good. With out knowing the truth and only having what was in front of me, I did not know which way to think. Horrible things went through my mind about those two, and sad to say horrible things went through my mind about my daughter. I couldn't shake the images of what I had read, they left a vivid picture in my mind. I didn't know if I should be mad, hurt,or sad with this information. I know I called her at her friends house and I wasn't every nice in fact I was nasty and mean. I was not understanding or supportive I was at first placing the blame on her.

I couldn't get a handle on any of it. I just knew I wanted to kill those two at that moment. I didn't know where to turn, but I knew I needed to speak with a law enforcement officer. So I waited for my son to get off work and then he and I drove to the Illinois state police, but after speaking to the officer on duty I would have to wait till in the morning. I stewed on this information all night, re read the pages gasping at what I was looking at. Not sleeping just couldn't understand why and what and it made me sick.

I tried to call the State police detectives and no one answered the phone, so I called a friend with the County police and he had a sheriff come out and take a report. This officer really couldn't tell me anything and was there just to take the report. I gave him copies of everything, He told me an officer ( detective) would be in contact after he filed the report. When he left I knew I would have to go get her from her friends house and we would have to talk about it all. But it didn't turn out that way for a few days she wouldn't talk and I couldn't talk to her with out saying things, Never trying at this time to understand her or what happen. Not listening to her.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

when part of the truth comes out

When you try to be the best mom you can, and you want to honor your child's judgement it doesn't always work, because your heart over takes your brain. The morning after I threw that kid and I use the term kid laughing as at 17 almost 18 your not a kid. I took my daughters phone and locked her out of Facebook. I needed time to digest what had happened the night before, Besides reading her phone he had left messages to her talking about her fine body and how he wanted to bang her, Not exactly what I wanted to read.  I spoke with someone and they advised me to send him a note saying any contact and I would have him arrested. which we did, But I also blew it as a mom, I said things too her because I was angry and those words will for ever haunt me. Because what I had thought was the end of the story was only going to be the beginning. I wouldn't find out the rest for months and months but I would find out enough to do as i had promised and file a police report.

A few day's later I had decided that I would allow her to go visit her friend and spend the night. But I had noticed that she was on her lap top in the kitchen more and more and not for very long. On this night she  left her lap top on the table when she went to her friends. I have never snooped in my child's phones, computers or anything else I truly believed in privacy. Well this night all that went out the window. I opened her computer and  the first thing I did was look at her Facebook chats. I copy and pasted both these boy's conversations with my child, then I went to her Skype account. where what I read my my physically ill. I could not believe what I was reading. I now know this was her way to tell me.

Now you remember the first boy the one that I thought was only through text message. Well what I read on Skype read like a porn movie. For those who don't know what Skype is it is a video chat program that all the kids are using. And a word of warning on Skype you can take pictures with out the other person knowing that you are doing that. The things I read in horror that this person had my daughter do in order for him to self gratify himself, including exposing his penis to my daughter. All the time telling her what he would so to her if he was there in person. Trying to get her to lie to us and get to where he can see her. I really couldn't read any more, so I then looked up the one on her Skype that had been to my house. It was in there that I learned what he had done to her in my house. How he was so pleased with himself.

He also made comments about what he would have done had he been alone with her, And couldn't wait till we could trust him so he could do other things to her, He bragged in these conversations how much he enjoyed himself. Their relationship would be like Romeo and Juliette. Even going as far as looking up if his seeing her was against the law. Telling her he didn't care he loved her she made him feel good. She was his baby girl and his princesses. He tried to alienate her in these conversations. He to on these Skype conversations would have her undress for him, he had her under his total control.

The police and the next few months. coming next

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The unknowing

Now not knowing what had happen that Sunday night. I still didn't like the fact of his age and we had many a fight on this. I still didn't want her to be one of those girls who was head over heels in love and would try and see him in what I felt was an unsafe environment. I watched this child change before me eyes. We were going from a solid close relationship to I barely knew my child. I don't know if she was trying to hide from her feelings or what I would find out later be depression. I knew he had a control on her and I was trying to figure out a way to derail it with out her being to hurt. She didn't have a whole lot of experience with the opposite sex and this was both new to her and I.

Now it is hard during the summer months when I work, and I worry about the kids all day long. But I had thought we had an open enough relationship that I felt I didn't have to worry so much. I knew she was infatuated with this boy, he came across as charming, caring to her, and he too said those magic words. I love you, only his took the turn in their relationship would be like Romeo and Juliet and he would forever wait for her. These are the things a 14 year old girl wants to hear. One who feels she is not appealing to boys, and has no self esteem. I didn't know what to do, I sure didn't want her to see him but on the other hand i didn't want her to sneak around and get in trouble.

So when she asked if he could again come over on that weds. I figured this was my chance to get rid of him, as I would bring him to my house, and on the 30 minute car ride I would talk to him.

From the moment he sat in my car, I told him how i disapproved, how they would never date, how young he was and how he couldn't expect her to give up her freshman year and dances for him. I then explained to him if he touched her I would ruin his life, I would have him arrested and charged and make sure that he would be known as a pedophile. I told him he would never date my daughter, they would never be alone. Could he really live with him self leading her on, keeping her form doing things in High school that normal 14 year old girls, In the name of love that I was positive didn't exist.

Well we all ate dinner together, and I then went to them and had that conversation all over again with my daughter in the room. I thought I had gotten my message across to the two of them. They then went to my youngest sons room and played lets dance on the Wii. And started to watch a dance movie the three of them. My husband went back there as I had several times, but this time he came back to me and said he wanted that lil prick out of our house. He had caught him with his arms around her inappropriately. So I took him home. Little did I know that wasn't all that kid had done to my daughter. It was a repeat of the last time he was here. And again she had told him over and over again, she was to afraid to come to me, and this I didn't know why. All the way to his house I told them this friendship was done, no more, He was not coming over any more and she wasn't going to see him any where. What I found out a few days later would send our worlds on a tail spin that there could be no recovery from.

more to come later, the charges the arrest, the hearings and the final court date.